It has recently come to my attention that I stink. My CT, after much squirming and agonizing aloud about possibly hurting my feelings by talking to me about such a private thing, informed me that I have an offensive body odor. She said that this had been bothering her for a long time and that she was afraid to say anything, but that if she didn't, the situation would continue. She said that this was the reason she always opened the window in our (very large) shared office. She told me that the other CT also thought I smelled bad. Then she squirmed some more and asked if I was offended.
Swallowing massive and painful embarrassment, I said that I was not offended, that I preferred her to speak frankly, and that I would try a different soap. We hardly spoke to each other for the rest of the afternoon except to discuss an upcoming extra class that I would soon start teaching.
(I wish I could say this is the first time someone has sat me down for the "you stink" conversation, but it isn't. During late high school or early college, I went through an "I don't think deodorant is necessary" phase. The guidance counselor did the necessary intervention on behalf of one or more anonymous complainants. I knew something was up when she said she wanted us to have a "chat" and then started asking me whether I used soap when I did laundry. (At least CT didn't go into details like that.))
After work, I went to several bath and body type shops. Feeling like a (butch) elephant in those tiny, fragrant places, I tried to avoid the smiling clerks and inspect the rows of bottles and tubes, arranged by color, in peace. I bought shower gel in lavender, rosemary-mint, orange-mint, and chamomile scents. I also bought peppermint shampoo and a few colors of nail polish, baby powder, face powder, a shower pouf and some tea-tree oil soap. I still draw the line at make-up, skirts, heels and hose. Those are not going on my body anytime in the forseeable future.
Anyway, I've started using the aromatic bath products and pushing myself to shower more often than I'd been doing. Now and then I use nail polish. Teachers and kids both squeal over this. I've let my buzz cut grow out some. Yep. I'm succombing somewhat to gender pressure. I can't be transgender here the way I was back in the U.S. Or maybe I'm just tired of kids asking what sex I am and not being able to tell them that it shouldn't matter.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Health Check Bullshit
On May 14th (Teachers' Day), I went to Wonkwang University's Health Promotion Center (HPC) for one of two required annual health checks. This one involved fasting bloodwork, urine tests, chest x-rays, vision and hearing tests, weight, blood pressure, dental exam and questionnaires. The people who did these things barely spoke English and my Korean was not up to the job. The person at the front desk, using a calendar, told me that they would send the results to my employer in one week.
That was over two weeks ago. Said employer just called me wanting to know whether I'd done a health check at all. Now I'm trying not to panic. My mind is twirling with possibilities, none of them good:
1. The HPC LOST my paperwork and I'll have to do the whole damned thing over again.
2. One or more test results was so bad that the HPC is filling out special forms to send to my employer.
3. The HPC sent their only copy of the paperwork to the wrong place and I'll have to do the whole thing again.
4. The test results were declared invalid because I didn't manage to pee enough in the cup.
5. The HPC did send the paperwork and my employer lost it.
6. The HPC did send the paperwork and my employer has it but is lying about that fact for some nefarious reason.
7. There was a complete miscommunication between the health providers and me regarding where to send the paperwork or whether I was supposed to pick it up myself. (I did ask if I should come and they said, "no.")
8. The HPC is just very slow in processing paperwork and because of this, I've already missed some critical deadline.
9. The HPC got my name wrong on some or all of the paperwork.
I wish I could just go to directly to immigration or the employer's office, donate a pint of blood and PROVE, definitively, that despite being a foreigner, I am neither on drugs nor HIV positive. I'd give blood every month or two if that's what it took to avoid this mischigoss.
Added to these worries is the fact that people, Korean and foreign, have been inquiring about my health, particularly that aspect of it that causes me to walk with a cane. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive about this, but I feel that I must prove my ability to teach despite being physically imperfect.
As an American who is used to health information privacy laws, I am already intensely uneasy about my employer having full access to all my health information. All they need to know is that I am not carrying any dangerous diseases, using any illegal substances, or about to drop dead in the middle of my contract. They do not need to know my weight, blood pressure, exercise habits, tooth brushing habits, vision, cholesterol, or anything else.
The health check was a stressful, frightening and time-consuming process, especially since it was conducted in a mixture of broken Korean and broken English. One health professional after another asked questions that I only partly understood. I do not know what they wrote down on which forms. I do not want to go through this experience any more times than absolutely necessary in order to maintain my visa and job. I do not understand why two separate health checks (within a couple of months of each other) were necessary at all.
I worry that someone from the education office will suddenly inform me that due to my weight or disability, I can no longer work in the Korean public schools or (worst case scenario) in Korea at all. I know that in Korea, laws and policies can be flexible depending on who you know and who your boss knows. I don't think I have any conditions that absolutely disqualify me from working here (the main concerns being drug use and HIV). Still, when people say they are "concerned," alarm bells go off in my head. I hear "concerned" and think "looking for a reason to get rid of me."
That was over two weeks ago. Said employer just called me wanting to know whether I'd done a health check at all. Now I'm trying not to panic. My mind is twirling with possibilities, none of them good:
1. The HPC LOST my paperwork and I'll have to do the whole damned thing over again.
2. One or more test results was so bad that the HPC is filling out special forms to send to my employer.
3. The HPC sent their only copy of the paperwork to the wrong place and I'll have to do the whole thing again.
4. The test results were declared invalid because I didn't manage to pee enough in the cup.
5. The HPC did send the paperwork and my employer lost it.
6. The HPC did send the paperwork and my employer has it but is lying about that fact for some nefarious reason.
7. There was a complete miscommunication between the health providers and me regarding where to send the paperwork or whether I was supposed to pick it up myself. (I did ask if I should come and they said, "no.")
8. The HPC is just very slow in processing paperwork and because of this, I've already missed some critical deadline.
9. The HPC got my name wrong on some or all of the paperwork.
I wish I could just go to directly to immigration or the employer's office, donate a pint of blood and PROVE, definitively, that despite being a foreigner, I am neither on drugs nor HIV positive. I'd give blood every month or two if that's what it took to avoid this mischigoss.
Added to these worries is the fact that people, Korean and foreign, have been inquiring about my health, particularly that aspect of it that causes me to walk with a cane. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive about this, but I feel that I must prove my ability to teach despite being physically imperfect.
As an American who is used to health information privacy laws, I am already intensely uneasy about my employer having full access to all my health information. All they need to know is that I am not carrying any dangerous diseases, using any illegal substances, or about to drop dead in the middle of my contract. They do not need to know my weight, blood pressure, exercise habits, tooth brushing habits, vision, cholesterol, or anything else.
The health check was a stressful, frightening and time-consuming process, especially since it was conducted in a mixture of broken Korean and broken English. One health professional after another asked questions that I only partly understood. I do not know what they wrote down on which forms. I do not want to go through this experience any more times than absolutely necessary in order to maintain my visa and job. I do not understand why two separate health checks (within a couple of months of each other) were necessary at all.
I worry that someone from the education office will suddenly inform me that due to my weight or disability, I can no longer work in the Korean public schools or (worst case scenario) in Korea at all. I know that in Korea, laws and policies can be flexible depending on who you know and who your boss knows. I don't think I have any conditions that absolutely disqualify me from working here (the main concerns being drug use and HIV). Still, when people say they are "concerned," alarm bells go off in my head. I hear "concerned" and think "looking for a reason to get rid of me."
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