I'm not too fat to teach just yet

This past Friday, I signed another year's contract with the Jeollabukdo Office of Education. I will teach another year in Iksan, South Korea, most likely at the elementary or middle school level. There was some doubt about whether the Iksan Education Office was willing to give me another contract. The foreign teacher liason expressed "concerns" about my health. When I asked him to specify his concerns, he said in an email that he thought my weight might mean that I was unhealthy. I refuted his arguement with a perfect work attendance record and passed health exam, but this issue will probably come up every year that I work in Korea.


There is significant anti-fat prejudice here, and Koreans are more open about their prejudices than Americans. A Korean will tell you right out that you are fat or ugly or whatever.


I realize that my weight does affect my health. It makes my dislocated and arthritic hip more painful. I avoid exercise and am completely out of shape. I get out of breath after climbing a flight or two of stairs. The only foods I really like are greasy, salty and/or sweet.


I've tried changing my diet in the past. I gave up soda and sweets and fats, exercised regularly and so on. I did not lose weight or feel an increase in energy. Never felt the alleged exercise high. I only felt hungry, deprived, sweaty, disgusting and, yes, still fat. I felt as though I were being punished. The ONLY thing that quickly and reliably relieves anxiety and depression for me is food, specifically sweets and simple carbs. Alcohol doesn't work. Anxiolytics take several hours to work. Meditation makes me nervous. Exercise makes me tired and sore, but does NOT improve mood in any way whatsoever. Whether I eat green vegetables or fast food, my size and energy levels stay the same. The only difference is that when I eat only healthy food, I'm also very hungry.


A friend suggested that I have my thyroid hormone level checked. This I plan to do. I'll ask an endocrinologist to check all my hormone levels. I know something's up with my sex hormones, because I am female, but have facial hair.


I'm not sure it's even possible for me to lose weight down to a "normal" level. As for my employment situation, I probably need to be SEEN eating vegetables and exercising and lose at least a little weight to show appropriate concern for my health. I might well end up a semi-vegetarian carb-avoider who exercises daily yet still manages to weigh over 200 pounds. If so, what else can I do? I'm not willing to undergo the extremely risky lap-band surgery or other weight-loss surgeries. I'm also not willing to serve as a guinea pig for the latest inadequately tested diet drug (Fen-Phen anyone?).


Here's what I want: 1. I want the size discrimination to stop
2. I want to be able to climb a couple of flights
of stairs without getting winded
3. I want the pain in my hip to decrease
4. I want to be able to stand for long periods of
time without pain
5. I want to have more energy
6. I want to break my addiction to sugar and bread
7. I want to feel good about my body